Is there someone in your life who is holding you back emotionally, but you feel like it would be MEAN to cut them out of your life, or to create a strong boundary with them?
For most of my life I played the role in my family of caretaker, spiritual strength, always available, counselor, doormat, peace-maker, etc. It’s all I knew, and I never questioned playing this role. I never thought I could simply say NO to this role. Anytime I thought of pulling back on this role, it felt MEAN. I couldn’t fathom that creating a strong boundary could actually be a LOVING thing to do.
After last week’s vulnerable Coffee Time about my realization that it’s time to create a strong boundary with my family, I received a letter from one of my close family members. It was full of the old familiar unhealthy patterns. But this time, instead of playing the role of caretaker, I boldly declared my intention to end this cycle of codependency. Life provided the perfect opportunity for me to do this. And although it is painful, it is also one of the biggest turning points of my life, to say NO to the role I’ve always played, and to say YES to my own journey, regardless of what my family thinks of that journey.
It’s extremely empowering.
I feel a BIG shift.
Is there someone in your life who you would love to be free from? I encourage you to invite ANGER to the surface. Anger will help you to create the boundary you need to create. If you have been a doormat, a people-pleaser, the one who is always full of grace no matter how people treat you, then ANGER is something that will help you in this process. I never thought that anger could be good. But it’s an important emotion to feel, and then to harness into something positive that will allow you to move forward in your life without codependency. Be honest with yourself about how people are treating you. Are they bringing positive, uplifting energy into your life, or are they using you, feeding on you, dragging you down? Being real and honest with yourself about how they are treating you is NOT mean. Getting angry is NOT unloving. It’s what you DO with that anger that matters. It’s time to feel our anger and then transform it into action — powerful action to set ourselves free from unhealthy relationships.
Today’s show is short and powerful and will empower you to create the boundaries you need so that you can be FULLY FREE to live the life you were destined to live.
Let’s start a conversation about it. Please share in the comments whatever this topic brings up for you. Are you scared to let go of certain family members? Are you able to feel your anger about how your family has treated you? Leave a comment below to continue this discussion. Thank you for joining me today, I love you!!