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Strength from the Ocean Waves

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Nights have been by far the most difficult part of this week. Every evening, when the sun goes down and I find myself alone in the van, it’s been pretty painful missing Vince. Like, gut-wrenchingly painful. I’m a crier. But I’ve NEVER cried this much in my life. But tonight something shifted. I decided to do something different, and I said, “Noelle, we’re strong. Let’s go to the beach. We’re not gonna mourn tonight.” So I drove to the beach just an hour before sunset, and no one was out. It was so windy the waves were wildly crashing — HUGE WAVES, and as I walked in the sand barefoot I put my headphones in and listened to my own voice singing 2 songs I wrote, before all this pain had hit me. And it was the combination of hearing the strength in my voice along with the strength of the ocean, I felt this energy rise within me, and I couldn’t help but start running. I ran and ran and felt the surge of courage and love and joy course through my veins. And suddenly I had the thought . . “I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve faced losing the thing I feared losing the most, and so there’s nothing left to fear.” And then I stopped and stood looking out at the powerful waves coming towards me, and I felt them as waves of power, love, joy, awakening. I stretched out my arms to receive everything the universe was bringing to me. I’ve never felt stronger, more open, more ready, more fearless, than I do since that moment a couple hours ago. I’m thankful for this shift. I know there will still be pain, but I see the bigger picture, I feel the huge waves of joy and expansion that are coming to me and flowing through me, and I know this pain is allowing me to find strength I never knew I had. Watch out world, here comes Noelle . . .

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{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Gus Hightower March 29, 2016, 2:56 pm

    Hi Noelle

    I found you during research about vans which, led to the Sprinter Series. I watched several videos, including the heartfelt video about your relationship with Vince.

    You have an amazing Disney Princess voice.


    Gus Hightower

    • Noelle Marie Amendola April 6, 2016, 1:13 pm

      Thank you so much Gus, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, I’m so thankful for your comment and for reading my blog and watching my videos. Bless you!!

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