Today is a big day for me. It’s coming out day. I feel like I’m coming out of the closet of shame in an area I’ve finally accepted and embraced as who I am. It’s something I’ve always been, and something I’ve always been judged for. To finally accept this aspect of who I am, feels akin to revealing to you that I’m actually a lesbian, or that I have a bizarre fetish, or some deep dark beautiful secret. This is life-changing for me. And in order to get to this point where I can declare this as a good part of who I am, and not something to be healed or shamed or denied, I had to come to a place of deep surrender. I had to surrender all worries about judgment. I had to surrender all self-judgment, as well as fear of others judging me. I’ve always been judged for this, and I’ve always agreed with the judgment. Until this year. I know now that this is a good, important aspect of who I am.
I am a serial monogamist.
I love to be in love, and I love to focus on one man at a time.
Since my separation/divorce on Feb 4, 2017 I have had a series of relationships; some purely online, some very much in person and sexual, some purely romantic, and ALL of them were meant to come and go. And with each of them, I was able to let them be in my life for the time they were meant to be, focusing fully and only on the one I was with, and let them go when they were meant to leave. In each relationship I have learned something CRUCIAL about myself. I have expanded. I have grown. And I’ve suffered VERY little pain in the endings of these relationships. I never attached myself to the idea of any length of time, and I always trusted that Life would bring me my next relationship whenever the time was right.
And like mystical clockwork, whenever the timing of one relationship has come to an end, a new man has appeared. Like MAGIC. Without looking or searching or longing or trying. And I have embraced this, instead of fighting it. Because I LOVE being in a relationship. I LOVE having a partner. I love romance and cuddling and affection and words and loving and adventure and new experiences. I just don’t want to attach myself to one partner for a specified length of time. I want to have as many experiences as possible in this life. But my nature is to focus fully on one man when I am with him. I like to give him all my attention, and love to share my body only with him. What I have found is this way you have a safe place to grow and expand and you have a container in which to love and care for each other that doesn’t involve other energies. Amazing things happen within this safe place. Healing happens. Love happens. Inspiration and learning happens. Growth happens. JOY happens. Pleasure happens. And then you lovingly go on new paths and release each other when it’s time. It could be 2 weeks, it could be 2 months, it could be 2 years, it could be any length of time. The key is to be OPEN to the organic flow and unique time-line of each relationship.
What has happened out of these experiences, is tremendous growth and expansion, both in my own life and in the lives of the men I have dated. In each relationship I have risen to a new level. There has been a specific purpose in each connection. It’s all been VERY VERY GOOD.
Today on Coffee Time I powerfully share my journey of embracing this, an update on my current love-life, and how the pain about Vince has finally left me. I am dreaming again. I am on FIRE. The girl I once was, has been consumed by the flames of pain, and all that remains, is ME.
Join me today for the most EPIC episode of Coffee Time ever.
For FREE inspiration delivered to your inbox, sign up for my newsletter: FREE NEWSLETTER
These videos are my passionate work. If they enrich your life and you feel inspired to support me, please donate here: Donate Here