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Is Your Family Holding You Back? 5 Truths That Set Me Free – Coffee Time 69

Family holding back

This is SCARY.

I’m gonna be very honest and vulnerable with you today, and this is probably the most nervous I’ve been for a Coffee Time show. I had been planning to do this important topic all week, but then talked myself out of it several times the day before, and woke up in a fog of anxiety and depression and pain, even though I had let go of any self-imposed pressure to do anything.

I went to my journal and wrote, “Pain, invite you to the surface. Anger, I invite you to come into the light. Fear, I invite you to come and be in the light with me.” And I instantly felt peace, as I met myself deeply in the middle of my emotions.

And THAT led to one of the most vulnerable and powerful Coffee Times I’ve ever recorded.

Today we’re talking about family. And how sometimes the very people we’ve been the closest to our entire lives, the ones we love the most, the ones we feel most attached to, are the very people we need to release in order to rise fully into WHO we are. I’ve spoken with many of you privately about this topic. It’s one that impacts ALL of us. And it’s a subject that most people don’t want to talk about publicly, because it’s so sacred, and precious, and close to our hearts, and most of all:

we don’t want to hurt anyone.

But here’s the revelation that has set me free to talk about my personal journey with my own family on the show today:

EVERY person in our lives has an orchestrated role they are MEANT to play. THERE is NO BLAME in any of this. If we could go outside of time and look at everything from a bigger perspective, the most REAL perspective — we would all be there together on the other side, in true connection and love and community, cheering each other on. Even the people who are MOST unsupportive of you or critical of your journey would be there with you, cheering you on. They would ESPECIALLY be cheering you on for creating powerful boundaries with them, for not letting their criticisms rule your life, for rising above their critical voice into your destiny.

So as you watch today’s show, keep in mind that LOVE is all that’s real. And that everyone in your life, even the MOST judgmental, unsupportive person, has come into your life for an important reason and could even be your greatest teacher.

Recently I realized that a lot of the things I teach on my show are in direct opposition to what I learned as a child from my parents and the church. Not all of it, but a lot of it. And I see now how orchestrated this is . . . it’s these myths or lies I learned growing up, that have led me to the truth, so clearly.

Without lies, how would we even be able to grasp what TRUTH is? Without darkness, would LIGHT mean anything to us? Without pain, would we have any concept of JOY? This is the human experience, and I’m grateful for it.

And as we learn to draw boundaries today with family members who aren’t able to fully support us right now, we need to keep in mind that this is all orchestrated, that we don’t need to blame them for anything, that in fact we can be VERY grateful that they are a vital part of our important journey of rising into WHO we really are.

With all that in mind, here are the 5 LIES I was taught growing up about the world and about myself, some of them in direct messages, but most of it by simply observing the culture in my family as a little girl. These are the messages I absorbed which shaped how I saw myself. For each false message, I will then state the truth I have come to know which has set me free. So thank GOD for these messages, which eventually led me to the amazing TRUTH!


Don’t say anything stupid or silly, don’t make waves, fit in with the crowd, be agreeable, don’t draw attention or be too loud or make public mistakes. Don’t embarrass us.

TRUTH #1: You were BORN to SHINE!!

You were BORN to SHINE, to be BIG, to be BOLD, COURAGEOUS, to be SEEN in your FULLY GLORY!!! You are FREE to be YOU!! Fully and fearlessly. Speak your truth BOLDLY and FIERCELY!! You are not meant to FIT IN, but to LEAD.

LIE #2: HIDE Your Body

Your body is shameful and evil, you can’t trust your bodily appetites, cover yourself up, be modest, it’s shameful to be naked, bodily functions are embarrassing.

TRUTH #2: Your Body is a MIRACLE!!

Your body is a  MIRACLE! It should be LOVED and ADORED and you can feel BOLD about shining your body to the world in its full GLORY. Your body is beautiful and it’s meant to be ENJOYED.

LIE #3: OBEY the Rules

Obey the rules, what others think about you is very important, honor authority, put leaders/pastors above yourself, obey the Bible above your own evil desires.

TRUTH #3: Your OWN VOICE is your guide

Your voice is your guide. You have everything you need WITHIN you. Break the rules! Blaze your own trail. Don’t worry about ANYONE ELSE’s opinion of your life, trust your own heart and your own deepest desires. You can TRUST YOURSELF completely!

LIE #4: Pleasure is Shameful

Too much pleasure is shameful, sex is shameful, masturbating is disgusting. Sex, money, and pleasure are evil, you don’t deserve to just ENJOY your life. Being MORAL is more important than pleasure, you don’t deserve any more pleasure or money than you absolutely need, be content with what you have, don’t be wasteful on pleasure.

TRUTH #4: You were DESIGNED for PLEASURE and enjoyment!!

Your were designed for pleasure. Your body is a source of pleasure, meant to be explored and enjoyed. PLEASURE is your destiny. You were meant to ENJOY ALL the abundance of life: pleasure, money, all of it. Sex is natural and good and is a GIFT to be explored and enjoyed. You deserve to enjoy EVERYTHING your heart desires, above and beyond everything you’ve dreamed. ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY!!!!

LIE #5: Life is Difficult

Money is scarce, work is hard, life is scary and painful. You’re not one of those “successful people”.

TRUTH #5: Life is MAGICAL!!

Life is ABUNDANT! You are POWERFUL and money flows easily to you — there is nothing difficult about it, because it’s already YOURS! You are successful, wealthy, and powerful. Life is magical and EASY for you. Life is a BEAUTIFUL and amazing ADVENTURE!!!!!!!

I encourage you to watch today’s show (which I filmed outside in beautiful Estes Park) and then think about the messages YOU received growing up, that might not be the truth about the world or about who you really are.

And then, let’s start a conversation about it below. Please share in the comments whatever this topic brings up for you. Are you scared to let go of certain family members? Do any of these 5 LIES resonate strongly with you? What are some of the messages you received growing up? Leave a comment below. Thank you for joining me today, I love you!!

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