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How To Break Free from a Codependent Relationship – Coffee Time 74

First of all, I want to say how overwhelmingly blessed I am by the response from all of you last week. WOW and DOUBLE WOW!!!! I am STILL processing and letting all of it sink in. I received email after email, describing to me just how important Coffee Time is to you and how much it’s been missed in your life. I can’t even express how much of a dream come true this is for me. To have let it go for half a year, and then to come back and see how real and strong and needed it is . . this is just blowing me away. I have never been more confident that this is the work I’m meant to do, and I’ve also never been more JOYFUL about it either. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for holding the place for Coffee Time and for valuing it so much in your life. I am still reeling from the many many emails in my inbox and the comments on Facebook. It’s taken me all week just to respond to everyone. This is just amazing! Once my head stops spinning from the JOY of this response, I’ll be able to speak more eloquently about what we can do next to build this thing to the next level. YOU are such a huge part of this, so THANK YOU. Seriously.
Thank you. Stay tuned, this is just the beginning.
On the show today I read one of my favorite letters I received this week, from Ronny. This precious fan from Belgium just blew me away with his words, describing what Coffee Time means to him. You’ll love it, I promise.
And then the topic for today is Breaking Free — from anything that is addictive to you, whether it’s a substance or a habit or a relationship with a person. I share more of my intimate journey of how I approached my recent breakup in a way that was easier and much less painful than any breakups I’ve had in the past. I journeyed towards this separation much more gradually and in a balanced way that allowed Life to guide me gently, rather than forcing something to happen. The biggest key in this process was that I allowed myself to bring every dark, secret, private thought out into the LIGHT, in my journal, without any pressure to ACT on these truths.
So often we think that if we admit something, that we immediately will have to DO something about it. But that’s just a limiting thought. Why can’t we admit that we’re struggling in an area, but also be honest that we don’t have the strength to DO anything about it just yet? This is a powerful practice. As I gave myself permission, over a series of weeks, to simply write down my truths about my marriage without any pressure to act on these revelations, it set me free. When the time finally came to separate, I was so ready for it, it was like a ripe piece of fruit just falling off the tree with a gentle breeze.
I encourage you to be present with yourself, wherever you are in this moment. If you are addicted to something or someone, it’s ok to just admit that to yourself, without feeling any pressure to do anything about it. Just getting it in the light and being honest with yourself is gonna release you to feel more like YOU.
My biggest encouragement to you today is this:
There is a TIMING for your freedom. When the time is right, you will be free. You can rest in that. There is a reason for the ups and downs and the journey of becoming free. When you can embrace this truth, it floods you with the peace to meet yourself exactly where you are, in this moment, whatever you are feeling, and not push yourself to do something you’re just not ready for.
Can you rest in the arms of God, in the arms of LOVE, and surrender to the process? Can you find love and grace for yourself in this moment, no matter what addictions or struggles you currently have?
THIS is the key to freedom.
Because most of the time, the thing that’s actually keeping you in bondage is your lack of grace for yourself. So start with grace. Just accept where you’re at. And watch Coffee Time for some very personal revelations about how I finally broke free from this addiction to codependent relationships that has been with me for over 30 years. It’s good stuff!
And lastly but NOT leastly, there’s MUSIC today! I’m finally realizing my dream of SINGING on Coffee Time — WOO HOO!!!
Shortly after arriving in Minnesota, I wrote a song on one of my biggest healing days, called Attraversiamo. (I learned about it from Liz Gilbert when I was reading Eat, Pray, Love)
It’s the beautiful Italian word that means
“Let’s cross over (together)”.
I wrote the song in the morning just as the sun was rising, and recorded it on my little voice recorder. I could barely sing it, I was so raw with pain that day. But I did it, and felt the power of it. Little did I know what God had in store for me that day, and how desperately I would need to hear that song throughout the day, as He led me on a very deep and challenging, breakthrough journey of healing. As I listened to my own voice singing these words to me all day long, I felt as if I was being carried to the other side, to freedom. It was beyond magical. It was miraculous. Here are the words:
Let’s cross over
And be FREE
Don’t look back
Keep your eyes fixed
On who you are
There’s a LIFE
That’s waiting
It’s not very far
The night is nearly ending
The sun is almost rising
I can see a new day
For you and me
Let’s cross over
And be FREE
I’ll see you next week for more deep talks (and another song!).
I love you.
P.S. Do you know of someone who needs to break free or who needs to feel more grace in the middle of his/her current struggles? Please share this with them, from my heart. I want this message to reach every heart who needs it.

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